EZ CHEEZE

Dangerous. It's how we roll. The highlight of the night, was, of course, The Nail Game. The highlight of the highlight, was, once again, George B.

Some Background

There are a couple of techniques employed to compete in the Nail Game. Most take calculated swings. Hammering the nail in, bit by bit, trying to hit solid without bending the nail. Some try the all or nothing approach. Focus, wind up and swing hard. This group usually misses, but when they do connect, it usually means victory. George's method is more like this second group, but, unlike his peers, George does not focus. At all. He always seems to be aiming for the vicinity of the nail and usually misses by 2 or 3 inches, leaving large indentations in the stump. Everyone usually covers their eyes or ducks behind something when George winds up. Because, like my mom used to say, "It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye, or a testicle." Okay. She never said testicle but I think it was implied.

The Set Up

After about 2 hours of watching George miss, we decided to provide some incentive - lets see how much of a mess George can make. We decorated George's nail: Peanuts encircling the base, Vienna Sausage stuck on the head and some ezcheeze spooged all over the sausage. You get the visual? Oh man, this gonna be funny no matter what happens.

The play by play:

• George starts his wind up. (Note that this is always a production, but now George is especially dramatic). 
• Everybody is ducking for cover, hiding their eyes, backing up. (Because, even if the nail does not shoot out somewhere, you got to figure that sausage and cheeze is gonna make a real mess.) 
• George swings, hard! Wham!!!! (I feel something wet on my face. It's not blood. No pain. My eyes and testicles are still intact. Oooh - vienna sausage splatter. Yuck.)
• Silence. (No one is screaming, so no one is hurt.) 
• Everyone is completely dumbfounded. Still silent. (It seemed like a long time.) 
• We all look at the log. The food is gone, mostly. Splattered into infinite tiny particles. (But, wait..... What happened to the nail?) 

Holy sh!t! He sunk it! George sunk the f--king nail!!! (Disbelief, mass hysteria and uncontrollable laughter.)

Another classic INGA moment. Funniest ever. GB. The EZCHEEZE INGA KING!

Thanks to everybody that made it over, I had a blast. Laughed so hard my ribs hurt. Bike hard all Summer boys. Football is just seven months away.

Tommy B
Chief Antagonizer
Mr. T Fans Football & INGA Club