Bowl Games

This week we have three games! The Bourbon Bowl on Saturday 12/31 at 9 AM. Pain Bowl on Sunday, 1/1 at 10 AM. And the Pity Bowl on Monday, 1/2 at 9 AM. All games at Waters Field.

For this New Year's special, I was able to contact some Mr. T fans' moms and get some baby photos. See if you can identify Dancing (Rock) Star, The Judge, Criminal, The UF, London Collin, Tricky D and 4X in the photo gallery to the right >>>

Holiday Bowl, Thursday Night Lights 12/22

It started to rain one minute before the kick-off and it never let up. This made for some sloppy football, especially with the huge turn-out. We played 11v11 for a while and eventually got down to 8v8 after some injuries and early departures. East beat West 26-6. We had a lot of high school boys out to play including Joe K, Brian & Kevin T, Jordan P and another kid... Chad? We also had a couple new players: Eric and... Mojo?

During the pregame warm-up we had some fans show up ready to tailgate, but the rain drove them all away. We even had the Mayor! That's right. You know its big when our Mayor comes down to participate in the opening ceremonies. Thank you Mayor Jane Seeman!

For the East we had The Judge, Dancing Star, Justin, Heat Seeker, Kevin, The UF, Criminal, Mojo, Brian T, Jordan P. West had Tim D, Tommy B, TD Banker, Bob V, Gio, Big Jim, Mike P, Eric, Joe K, Kevin T & Chad.

Big plays? Justin had a nice Pick six aided by some nice downfield blocking by the Heat Seeker. The UF had a TD catch that was also aided by some nice downfield blocking by the Heat Seeker, again, and the Dancing Star. The Judge had 3 TD passes to The UF, Justin and Heat Seeker. Tim D had one TD pass to Big Jim.

For the kids that played I recall a nice long ball to Kevin T and a pick for Brian T. Brian T kicked off for the East and showed some nice soccer form. Jordan P used his speed to race in and get a few key tags on defense.

A Motley Crew

Boxing Bowl, Monday 12/26

We played 8v8. West beat East 27-21. West had Tim D, Kevin, Criminal, Tommy B, Justin, Paul C, Dancing Star and superstar peewee player, The Wile E. Coyote (Justin's son). East had Gio, Ken, Tito, Roger, Eric, Tom C, Big Jim and peewee player The Turk. The player of the day has to be Wile E. He had two TD receptions, three sacks and a safety! Not bad for a 12-year old playing with a bunch of (old) men. For the East, Gio had 2 TD passes to Big Jim & Tom C. Ken also threw a long one to Tito. For the West, Tim D had 3 TD passes to Tommy B (2) and Wile E. Justin also threw a TD to Wile E.

Because you've read this far, I wonder why this is Tricky D's favorite football video?

On the seventh day, God created Mr. T. Then they both chilled out and watched the game. See you Saturday, Sunday & Monday.

Tommy B
Chief Antagonizer
Mr. T Fans Football Club

Happy Festivus

Special Christmas schedule this week. No game on Saturday, Christmas Eve. But, as a bonus, we will play twice: First on Thursday, 12/22 at 7:15 PM under the lights baby! And again on Monday, 12/26 at 9 AM. Both games at Waters Field.  Spread the word!

We had a really close game on Saturday. We played 7v7 and West beat East 44-35. The lead went back and forth throughout the game. It was very close. Playing for West was Tim D, Gio, Heat Seeker, London Collin, Tommy B, Bob V, Mark S & Ken A. The East had Levon Helm, Dancing Star, TD Banker, Big Jim, 4X, Kevin W and Criminal. Some nice plays? Levon hit TD Banker for a long, you guessed it, TD. It was a nice throw into some tight coverage and a really nice catch looking back over the outside shoulder. London Collin scored the first two for West, one was on a kick-off return! Big Jim scored twice, the second a long run that was called back due to flag guarding. Tsk. Tsk. Levon had a nice scramble for a successful 2 point conversion to Kevin W. Tim D sealed the deal for West with a pick six to end the game. Gotta get a better name for Tim D than Tim D. Aaron Rodgers?

Playing peewee rushing for West was Cooper D. East had a guest peewee player - Joey J.

We have a new nickname for Billy E. In as much as Billy likes The Band,  he will no longer be called Levon helm. Instead, he will henceforth be known as The Judge. Why? Because the big gun ought to have a name like a big gun. "I bulave that gits the job done rot thar."

Tender hands? It's what all good receivers have. Especially the gay ones, I guess. Speaking of gay, where was the UF this week? He bought another new work-out device. It's very exciting. According to the UF, "You can work out and crank up some wood at the same time!"

So, Fans. Thursday night is your opportunity to get your tailgate on. And you don't have to drive to Landover (or Raljon or whatever). Come on down to Waters. Bring your food, beverages, kids, dogs, camping chairs. Beer bong? What the heck. Nobody's working on Friday anyway and even if you do have to go in, it will be a total slacker day.

Did you know Mr. T's van runs on Vin Diesel? See you THURSDAY!

Tommy B
Chief Antagonizer
Mr. T Fans Football Club

Mr. T can count past infinity

Next game is Saturday, 12/17, Waters Field, 9 AM

We played 8v8 this week. West beat East 27-6. For the West we had Tim D, Big Jim, Kevin, Billy B, Tommy B, Bob V, the UF and M. East had London Collin, Gio, Tito, Murdock, Criminal, Mark S, Dances with Stars and 4X. The player of the day has to be Tim D who threw for three TDs, ran for 1, got two picks and two sacks. The play of the day came on East's only score. Dances with Stars intercepted and returned 80 yards for TD, juking and spinning all the way down the field. He actually ran 347.5 yards (I measured) and gave a demonstration why he IS the Dancing Star.

We had a quick Peewee game afterward with Sackinator and Cooper D playing on one side and Danny W and the Turk on the other. Tim D hit the Sackinator for a long TD then, after a long catch for Danny, London Collin hit Turk for another TD. Both extra points failed and we ended in a 6-6 tie.

Heat Seeker! We got a new nickname for Tito. Not only is Tito the fastest guy on the field, he also has an uncanny ability to pull flags. You think you are running free, dodging would-be flaggers, when suddenly, here comes Tito, the heat seeking missile. You won't even notice when he flies by, but, you've just lost your flag. I guess it's lucky we don't play tackle! Otherwise he may wear those sparkly purple shorts. Then the UF would be running around yelling "tackle me, tackle me!" That'd be bad.

The Dancing Star looked a little winded after his long run, judging by his being laid out for several minutes in the end zone. He did just run 347.5 yards, but who cares? For those that tend to get winded, I think this work-out vid might be for you. Seriously? This may actually be real. Huuuwaaa!!!! I showed my daughter Liv and she says "Hahaha, Why is she doing that? Such a freak!" My sentiments exactly. And if you think that's weird, check this out. WTF?

Now this is some serious traffic. Pretty cool, huh? Some of those scenes remind me of the defensive backfield when we play six eligible.

Did you know that if Mr. T was gay, he'd be Chuck Norris? See you Saturday.

Tommy B

Chief Antagonizer

Mr. T Fans Football Club

"I Love it when a plan comes together!" - Hannibal

Next game is Saturday, 12/10, at 9 AM at Waters Field. Should we continue to use flags? Make sure you run it up the Flag Poll (neat pun, huh? I made that up!) >>>

Another ass-whipping. We played 7v7. This time East beat West 54-20. East had Levon Helm, Kenny Anderson, Gio, Bob V, London Collin, Roger M & 4XL Todd (I was told this week that I did not have enough X's in the worlds largest WR's nickname. Henceforth to be known as 4X.) The UF came late and replaced Gio.  West had Tim D, Chris Collingsworth, Tommy B, Big Jim, Big Dan, Tito, Criminal & Chad (4X's bro, though not nearly as large. We may call him.... M. Concentrate.) Eventually Dances with Stars showed and replaced Tito. Playing Peewee for West was the FF and for East was the Turk. Big plays I can remember? Chris had a pick six for West and Ken had not one, but two pick six's for East. 4X also scored another TD. He caught a pass right in front of me. I grabbed a hold of lots of 4X before the end zone, but, alas, no flag.

I was asked recently who certain people were as referred to by their nicknames. This is a nickname refresher:

• Dances with Stars is Mike C. So called because he really likes to throw in some hip-hop and lots of spin moves whenever he gets the ball. Sometimes he just spins alone, umm, disqualified. Sometimes he wears that red turban (confused about the red shirt).
• Levon Helm is Billy E. Named after the rock multi-instrumentalist, Billy is still lamenting "The night they drove old dixie down."
• London Collin is Collin Nolan. No reason except I like The Clash.  
• Criminal is Bard S. Criminal because he has a special relationship with VPD. "Come on back over here little piggy and I'll shove these fireworks right up your arse!" Criminal is also gay (nothing wrong with that, live and let live), but in a metrosexual kind of way. Some would say "European." I say, "what's the difference?" How many guys do you know that wear knickers, berets or lime green vests?
• The UF is JP. UF is short for the Ultimate Fighter, a name I felt JP needed since he is also gay and sometimes feels less manly. How do I know he is gay? Like Criminal, he knows gay things, but in a much more visceral way. For instance, he knows weird gay anatomy stuff, how to do the butler's handshake and how to do the elephant walk. Just ask him.
• 4X is the worlds largest WR.
• Tricky D is Doug M. So named because he likes to be tricky and do trick plays. He also carries that little rat dog around in his pocket and it will jump out and start chewing on your leg while you try to run a pass pattern. And it happens to be the nickname of Doug's favorite former POTUS.
• Twinkle Toes is Frank O. Frank got this name when he was quite a bit heavier than he is now and was in the same dance competition as Mike C. Unfortunately, due to a midlife back-pain crisis, Twinkle is out for the season. He lost a lot of weight and now his back bothers him. Hmm. There's a lesson here?
• Murdock is Richard D. You know the "A Team"? Of course you do. Murdock is the guy that's always pissing off B.A. Baracus.
• Rick the Pick is Rick L. He earned that name with a four pick game last year. Mrs. Pick suggested we call him Rabbit Rick but I am trying to keep this rated PG-13.
• Turk is Bard Jr. Turk is short for Turkish. You gotta love Guy Richie!
• FF is the Future Fighter - JP Jr. 
• Sackinator is Matt B. Billy B's boy.

We could use some more nicknames and I am open to any suggestions. Levon congratulated Tito after a nice play last week with "Nice grab Teats!" That's just wrong. We cannot use that one.

My good friend and Mr. T videographer Fred S (yea, thats right. we have our own videographer, how many pickup leagues can say that?! uh huh) told me about this new workout device. For those of you who feel you are having a tough time keeping up on the field, this might be for you. If you need a partner, the UF and Criminal are ready to assist!

Speaking of a tough time, football is a tough sport. But if you are in your late forties and plan to get up to play football at 9 AM, I do not recommend that you drink half a bottle of gin the night before. Pain! Tommy B. Doing foolish things so you don't have to!

There was a time when Mr. T did not pity fools. That time was called never. See you Saturday.

Tommy B
Chief Antagonizer
Mr. T Fans Football Club