I'm teaching fools some basic rules.

Standing on the top of a Colorado peak in the bright, early morning sun, looking down into a chute covered in 3 feet of fresh powder as your heart pounds with fear and anticipation....  Kicking back in a comfy beach chair on a late summer afternoon in the outer banks watching the waves break as the sun sets behind you with a hot babe (Jojo - in my case this is always you, babe) and a cooler of cold bier within arm's reach....  Totally dialed-in mountain bike racing as you grease a sketchy downhill hanging on to a nose-wheelie with the crowds' oooohhhs and aaaahhhs as part of the barely perceptible background.... Playing football in the snow....needs no elaboration. So, what are a few of your favorite things?

Of course, I elaborate. I pity the fools that did not show up this past Saturday! We played an awesome 7v7. Twinkle Toes, Billy B, Big Jim, Murdoch, Kevin, Mike P, Tom H, Chico and the man, Bob the builder, Jeff F, Zach, Criminal, Tommy B and new T fan, Gibby, were all participants in pain. It started snowing before we started playing and it never stopped. The ball was like a little greased pig. It was hard to figure out where the first downs were - our markers kept getting snowed under. We couldn't find the sidelines or the end zones. It was hard to run, hard to stop running, hard to catch, hard to throw, hard to kick (only 3 for 8 on the extra point attempts). It was especially hard to keep your butt off the ground. Special features added for the game were fumbles and the new snowball huddle rule. For those of you that do not know it, there are normally no fumbles in touch football. But since the ground was so soft, we figured what the heck. And the snowball huddle rule is a special T feature: If the offense takes too long huddling, the defense throws snowballs at the huddle. Ahh. Few things in life are as much fun as playing football in the snow!

If you missed out today I hope it was not because you were lost. Waters was taken by a flag league so we moved to Madison. Remember, this is the procedure in this order (Go ahead and make yourself a little laminated card you can keep in your wallet if you think you will have trouble remembering this):

1. First go to Waters.
2. If Waters is taken, go to Madison
3. If Madison is taken, go to Marshall
4. If Marshall is taken, go to the VI.

If we end up on step 4 and you have no money, just put on the Mayor's Son-in-law's tab. Especially since he's been missing the past two games.

Now playing football without cleats is difficult. Playing football in the snow is also difficult. Playing football in the snow without cleats is, well, let's just say it's silly. We actually had 3 T fans trying to play in the snow with no cleats. Just get some of these, strap them on your sneakers and you'll be able to play just like Bob the builder. And I will make sure you're on my team so you don't step on me.

Rick L's been missing so far this year. Rumor has it he's got a new workout plan he's been doing to try to get ready. Come on Rick- play some football. Don't be a disgrace to the man race!

Next game is 12/12, 9 AM, Waters. It's time to run like a real man! Get some nuts!

Tommy B
Chief Antagonizer
Mr. T's Fan Club