Lame. That's what I have to say to all that did not show up to play football this week. We played 5v5: Kevin, Criminal, Rick (narrowly avoiding the Speedwalker nickname), Billy E, Murdock, Cooley, Jeff, Rod, Big Jim and Tommy B. We played in near white-out conditions and it was awesome! Very little defense, lots of scoring: 48 - 34, I think. Lots of tackling and diving into the soft snow. It was hard to run, but it was the same for everybody and it was a great workout. We would have played again on Sunday but only three showed: Twinkle Toes, Rick & Tommy B. Snow was above the knees. It would have been an even better workout. Running in deep snow can make you strong like this guy. We played catch for 30 minutes and went home. Playing catch will not make you strong. Alas.
Now I can understand if you do not live in Vienna AND you do not own a four-wheel drive. Otherwise, what happened? Did the snowflakes keep you home? If they did I hope you got enough milk the night before and you gassed up your car. Because you're lame just like all the losers at the grocery Friday night. I got two emails Friday night and two calls Saturday morning asking me if we were still going to play. Huh? I thought we already went over this. One email actually said "Who makes the call on 'weather' the game is on"? WTF? Are you kidding me? This is Mr. T football - "T" being the operative letter here. And this "call" was made a long, long time ago. But, let's be absolutely clear: We always, always, always play football. It does not matter what else happens - snow storms, hurricanes, earthquakes, floods, tornados, heat waves, snipers, race riots, 9/11, 12/7, fires started by cows, shipwrecks, plague, volcanic eruptions, whatever. It just does not matter. We play. No more jibba jabba. Don't ask again and don't be a prissy.
Last week I was at a Christmas party and a lady asked me if girls can play Mr. T football. Sure. We believe in equal opportunity pain. So, if you know any girls that can hang, invite them out. Hell, maybe they'd actually show up! I bet this girl would play football in a blizzard.
The UF has decided he no longer plays football. Instead, he is going to focus on his new band. That's the UF pretending to play keyboard and guitar for his new gay friend. He also selected the wardrobe and choreographed the dancing.
This week is the Christmas edition of Mr. T football. We play 12/26, 9 AM, Waters. So, have a Merry Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Festivus or whatever. Show up and don't make me count to 10, Mutha'uckers! Peace.
Tommy B
Chief Antagonizer
Mr. T's Fan Club
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6 comments:
Yeah baby, another comprehensive post which captured the spirit of the game, on Sat at least. I had a great excuse for Sunday but oddly can't remember now.....Have heard the Fighter recently singing to himself, mmmm what's going on here...i've even heard several phrases in Russian from him, and the open shirt thing, some interesting changes going on.
Who knew Natalie Portman and a couple Kiwis, English or whatever could rap???? hehehehe
Falls Church.
Honda Civic.
Blizzard 1, Me 0.
see y'all on saturday!
Great post. I will be in Buffalo on the 26th, but I'll play football there so I'll be ready for my return to MR.T on January 2!
-Billy (Levon Helm) E.
Quite making excuses for your brother, Buy a 4x4, or move to Vienna, or get your butt to where you need to be Friday night so you can play Saturday morning.
Do we play on "Boxing Day"? That sounds like jibba jabba.
Can we have that Russian Techno Pop play when someone scores?
As I left the field today, I heard Tommy B mutter: "It was a bad day for me." No, Tommy B, it was a bad day FOR ANYONE DONNING THE RED LOSERS' JERSEYS!!!
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