Don't gimme no back talk sucka!

We played 7v7. West beat East 44 - 24. Although players switched sides throughout the day, West was comprised primarily of Tim D, Rick, Big Jim, Billy B, Tricky D, London Collin & Tommy B. The East was mostly Levon, Tom C, Bob V, the UF, Criminal, Gio & Tony. At the risk of seeming narcissistic, the highlight of the day was an 80 yard kickoff return for TD by yours truly, Tommy B. West was losing 18 - 6 before the kickoff and this play shifted momentum to the West.

We have quite a few new players this year and some of the players from years past seemed to have dropped out. So, I am wondering what has happened to Bob the Builder, Chico and the Man, Brigg T and Patrick M, to name a few? You boys hurt? Did you put on a few pounds so now you are worried about a wardrobe malfunction? Umm.... at least she is, uh, fit.

So, did anybody watch the NFC Championship game? Rhetorical question. Could Favre and co. have done anymore to hand the Saints the game? Every week we play I think it seems like we make a lot of mistakes and it must be because we just play for fun. Then you watch the Vikings turn the ball over 5 times in one game and realize that even the pros make mistakes. They just make pro-size mistakes. This game aint easy. If it was easy it probably wouldn't be any fun.

Speaking of easy, I have heard some grumblings about the possibility of playing tackle instead of touch. Of course, if we played tackle it would be rugby style: no pads and no function buttons. The UF will get distracted if you have function buttons. Touch is fun but I, for one, do not like to be called down when I am barely touched. "I got you with end of this finger and this finger. Drives me crazy." Nobody is bringing me down with a few fingers and I am sure that many of you feel the same way. On the other hand, tackling Big Jim, London Collin or Twinkle Toes after they have a full head of steam will probably hurt. So, there is definitely a trade-off. I created a poll to see where our collective interests lie. The poll is anonymous so nobody can call you a prissy (if you even care).

Did you know that Mr. T invented the Manwich? Next game is 1/30 @ 9 AM @ Waters. You can assume for now that we are playing touch. So no jibba jabba.

Tommy B
Chief Antagonizer
Mr. T's Fan Club

P.S. Like Softball? If so contact London Collin. We play Tuesday nights at Southside park (the tough side of town) starting in April. Collin is a great team organizer  - much better than Tommy B - because he does not lie and he supplies free beer for every game! How cool is that?

Waldo hides out of fear of Mr. T

Ouch! The East beat West bad, 36-6. We played 9v9. The East had Twinkle Toes, Tim D, Levon, Bob V, Tom C, Cooley, Criminal, Bannon the Banker & Roger. The West had Murdock, Rick, Billy B, Kevin, Gio, Mike E, Tricky D, Tommy B & new T fan, Tony. The UF came late and replaced Rick. East was completing passes to wide open receivers. West was completing passes to wide open defenders. Depending on which side of the ball you were on, it was awesome or, it was ugly. The West looked as bad as Tony Homo and the Dallas Cowboys.

Highlight of the week? How about this: Bannon the Banker was enroute to score his second or third TD of the day after receiving a nice pass from Levon. It would have been a 60 yard TD run but he pulled up lame 20 yards short and fell to the ground holding his leg. It looked like it hurt, bad. He hobbled off the field with an apparent knee injury. It turns out he had just torn his ACL. The highlight came when, after a 10 minute break to stretch out , Bannon returned to the field! Of course he did not know how bad his knee was, he just played through the PAIN! Damn, that is tough! Ya think genetics have any thing to do with that? If you did not know it, Bannon the Banker is Bannon Wysocki, son of former Redskin, Pete Wysocki. Bannon is out until next season. All of the Mr. T fans will miss him. But, he will be back. Just like Terry Tate.

On a complete tangent, does anybody else think that some people use Facebook just to be totally annoying? I get "status" updates that say some of the most inane crap you could ever imagine. How's this for updates that go directly into the "who f--king cares" category: "is happy" or "back in the saddle" or "I'm so tired." Next time somebody posts "back to work!" I think I'll reply "scratchin my ass!"

The Cowboys are done. But, the West will be back next Saturday, 1/23, 9 AM @ Waters.

Did you know Mr. T and Superman once fought each other on a bet? The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants. See you all Saturday and make sure you wear your underwear inside your pants.

Tommy B
Chief Antagonizer
Mr. T's Fan Club

Be somebody, or be somebody's fool!

I got the inside scoop from some of the Mr. T fans that played this week. It was 7v7 for most of the day with West beating East 26-20 (or maybe it was 20-14, it's a little sketchy). West had Big Jim, Keith, Tom C, Tim D, Murdock, London Collin & O'Kelly. East had Twinkle Toes, Levon, Kevin, Tito, Bob V, Mike C & a Gio imposter (looked like Gio, but was not Gio. Perhaps a friend of Gio?).

Showing up late were three of Tito's friends. Two were named Luis and Jose, so I am told. I am not sure these were actually their names or if this was just selected as generic-latino. The third guy was described as "light skinned" with no "Negro dialect". He was wearing a hoodie so it was hard to tell for certain but he may have been Barack Obama. I also heard that this guy was really, really fast. Faster than Tito? Then it must have been Usain Bolt.

I understand some clarification of the rules were required for which Twinkle Toes laid down the law. But I will clarify it again:

• The defense can rush as many players as they want to and they do not have to say who is rushing. That's just football. The QB needs to be quick enough to figure it out. Got it?

Who was missing? Well, for one, smack-talkin Gio was missing. Hmm. Where was Gio? I was missing but, I was snowboarding. Here I am tackling a technical slope. (In case you are wondering, Terje is my snowboarding name, just another alias of Mr. T.) Criminal was missing and was supposed to go with me but he went to the beach to go kite boarding instead. It's a round-trip ticket so we expect he will be back next week. The UF was missing and also supposed to go with me but he decided to play with his slip-n-slide. He has joined the circus and we do not expect him back.

Next game is on 1/16 @ 9 AM @ Waters.

Some of your friends may ask you why you would want to get up early on a Saturday, go out in the freezing cold and get your ass kicked. Just remember what Mr. T says: "It takes a smart guy to play dumb."

Tommy B
Chief Antagonizer
Mr. T's Fan Club

When Mr. T pours his alphabets cereal into a bowl, only T's come out.

Happy Freaking New Year! It was East vs. West  (10v9) for the Hangover bowl. The West hung on for the victory 26 - 12. On the West we had Big Jim, Murdock, Justin, Tom C, Tito, Roger, Mike P,Tommy B and new T fan, Keith. For the East it was Billy E, Criminal, The UF, Mike C, Twinkle Toes, Kevin, Gio, Ryan, Cooley and new T Fan, young Tim. The East had an extra player to sub in and that was useful because at least one East player was a bit hungover. No names but he's been known to headline a Russian boy band. You got a highlight from Friday's game? Post a comment because I cannot remember.

I got a note from the pick-up soccer group saying they would only be playing on Friday this week as the weather would be "too nasty" for soccer on Saturday. Hmm. At 9 AM the temperature was about 20 degrees and the wind was gusting to 30 mph. That's a windchill of 1 degree - yeah baby!

Did we play "pick-up" football? Rhetorical question. On Saturday it was 9v9 again, this time East beat West 36 - 18. East had Cooley, Jeff, Billy E, Criminal, Mike C, Twinkle Toes, Kevin, Bob V, and new T fan Tom K. West was Rick, Tito, Gio, Big Jim, Tim, The UF, young Tim, Roger & Tommy B. Highlights I remember were a nice touch pass from Billy E over the top to Criminal on a fly for about a 50 yard TD and a 5 yard dump from Gio that Tito turned into a 70 yard scramble for TD.

All totaled about 5 hours of football this week. Have you met my friend, Pain?!!

Polling it looks like we will be playing East vs. West every week so we'll have a little cross-town rivalry. North vs. South would have been better but almost nobody from the North plays. I guess the south would have to be known as "the tough side of town." Probably lots of golfers and croquet players live on the North side of town. Not that I would ever pass judgement on those prissy games - just suffice it to say: real athletes play real sports.

Players outside of Vienna will be divided as such:

• East & South will play on East (with Vienna SE & NE)
• West & North will play on West (with Vienna SW & NW)

So, getting back to The UF's hangover: I hear he decided to drink out of a fish tank and he was taken home early from the New Years party by Mrs. UF. He was also apparently admiring the biceps of some high school boys. Yup. I don't even need to make this stuff up! Cooley reports that it was kind of creepy. So, as is my civic responsibility, I did some research and found out the UF was actually once a member of the cast of a kiddie show. See if you can guess which one is the UF. (Hint, he is wearing a pink costume.) Fortunately, he was taken home before anyone started playing with their twangers.

Our next game is on 1/9 @ 9 AM @ Waters. I will be out of town this week snowboarding - the only game I will miss this year. I will have the UF and Criminal with me so I am certain there will be something interesting for me to report. (Whether it will be reportable remains to be seen.)

Did you know Mr. T invented the X-Ray, the G-String, the R-Rating, Q and ZZ Top? This after drinking too much at a New Years party caused him to momentarily forget which letter he was. Twinkle Toes has the football and cones and he'll be taking attendance so don't forget where YOU need to be Saturday morning.

Tommy B
Chief Antagonizer
Mr. T's Fan Club